Perhaps there was no chemistry or a lack of shared interests, or maybe he was just a little bit of a dick. Don t worry about what other people think. Talk to your friends about how he made you laugh or how much you like his kisses. So, when in doubt, ask as many questions as youÃ¢Â€Â™d like. He will be happy that you feel comfortable talking about it with him and, more than likely, he will be able to allay any worries you may have. DonÃ¢Â€Â™t assume that if you are comfortable with something, whether itÃ¢Â€Â™s a sexual or social situation, or somewhere in between, he is, too dating someone who is hiv. But that doesn t mean that we have to muddle the value of an undetectable viral load and debase a group of people who are at least willing to be upfront about their HIV status. Don t assume you are the only one who is afraid. Those involved in HIV advocacy certainly have strong opinions on how the term that refers to an HIV-positive person s undetectable viral load should be used (and who is using it incorrectly). If he respected you enough to tell you about his status right away, respect him enough to keep his status to yourself. There will always be people who talk negatively about you, no matter what you are doing or who you are dating. An undetectable viral load reduces the likelihood of transmission by 96 percent. As long as the two of you are honest with your feelings, he isnÃ¢Â€Â™t going to break and you arenÃ¢Â€Â™t going to become HIV-positive. DonÃ¢Â€Â™t worry about whether ot not people will assume you are HIV-positive. Just because he was upfront and honest with you about his status, doesnÃ¢Â€Â™t mean he is a pro at dating while HIV-positive. A level of a person s HIV viral load is what causes them to be more or less likely to transmit the disease.
If no one asks about a person s HIV status, no one tells. The sexual acts of gay men do not exist in two separate vacuums. And in fact, it is their responsibility (and no one else s) to protect their own health. In the realm of sex and dating, the responsibility lies with you to make the appropriate choices to protect your health. But unless you have talked with him about it first, leave HIV out of the coffee talk conversation. How to Date an HIV-Positive Guy By: Tyler Curry May 7th, 2015 There are plenty of good reasons to utter the words Ã¢Â€ÂœletÃ¢Â€Â™s just be friendsÃ¢Â€Â after a first date. No matter how far removed you are from the HIV pandemic, you are still susceptible to the virus (especially if you think you aren t). But there are a few things you should know when starting a relationship with an HIV-positive guy. Unfortunately, people are slutty, nobody likes using condoms and everybody is a liar. Worse, a person will assert their HIV-negative status even if it s been months, or even years, since their last HIV test. So make them jealous by making yourself happy and not giving a damn about what others think. People living with HIV understand that you may have fears or trepidations, especially if this is your first time dating someone with HIV (that you know about). Do it at the gym, on the subway and even at Sunday service (if that s your sort of thing): Did you catch the last inning of the Rangers game last night. Ã‚Â If you have a question, don t be afraid to ask it. Instead, worry about whether he makes you laugh, likes the things you like, and is good in bed. Therefore, the conversation about what it will take to decrease stigma and increase HIV testing must also exist without uninformed generalizations that could silence many before they even speak.